My Struggle against Self-criticism and high demands
For as long as I can remember, I have placed immense pressure on myself, with high expectations and a lot of self-criticism. I often went to bed dwelling on the day's performance and lay awake with a knot in my stomach, worrying about the tasks for the next day.
How perfectionism, social anxiety and people pleasing affected my life
Some days at work, I worried about not performing well, which led to overworking and anxiety. On other days, just getting started was a challenge. I found myself wanting to plan every detail to perfection before even beginning a task, leading to procrastination. This hesitation and drive for perfection caused me to beat myself up for not working fast enough or well enough.
I constantly had new ambitions – to become fluent in Spanish, the best at hockey, a musician, dancer, and break records at the gym. I believed that "when I reach the next goal, I will finally be satisfied." But when I did reach a goal, I immediately set my sights on the next without feeling any satisfaction. It was as if I threw away the carrot as soon as I caught it, without even tasting it.
I was afraid to share what I had learned and take up space in social settings. Anxiety and shyness held me back, and even when I found the courage to show my abilities, anxiety impaired me from showing my best.
My shyness often made it incredibly hard to prioritize myself. Countless times, I would feel this deep anxiety and guilt after turning down social invitations or saying no to people who sought my support, even when I desperately needed that time for myself.
My people pleasing tendencies held me back from setting the boundaries I so desperately needed. I was afraid of disappointing people or having to face their anger, which often led to me neglecting my own needs, goals, and much-needed rest.
A journey toward self-awareness and inner freedom
After exploring various paths of personal development, I discovered ways to process deep emotions and break free from limiting patterns. The more I let go of inner blockages, the freer I became to be myself and act with calm, focus, and confidence.
Over time, a strong passion for supporting others on their journey grew within me. I have had the honor of guiding over 80 people and feel deeply grateful to help others live more joyful lives and believe in themselves. This project is rooted in that passion – something that is also reflected in the meaning of my birth name: Mattias Josef Helmer = God's gift, the Lord will increase joy and praise.
Imperfect joy seeker
Today, I consider myself an "imperfect joy seeker”, continuously expanding by embracing the inevitable imperfections of being human.
My vision is that everyone should feel free to be their true self – no matter what situation they find themselves in, who surrounds them, or where they are located in the world.
I am a certified international advanced EFT practitioner, NLP practitioner, and self-esteem coach. Through evidence based tools, combined with compassion and intuition, I help you break through your subconscious beliefs and find the root of what limits your potential.
Qualifications
- Certified international EFT practitioner.
- Certified international EFT Advanced practitioner.
- Certified EFT Mastery Coach by the Swedish EFT union.
- Certified inner child practitioner.
- Member of the EFT union.
- Certified Self-esteem Coach by Livscoach Akademin.
- Certified NLP practitioner.
- Deep personal work with psychotherapy, counselling and life coaching.
- I am a student in a CPCAB-qualified counseling program, accredited by BACP, with a focus on talk therapy, client work, and supervision.
